Dear reader
I've had a busy month. Grab a coffee, tea, beer or wine. This is a long one.
First there was a black tie dinner at the wrong hotel then there was a visit to Geneva at the wrong hotel.
Someone buy me a map.
I was all spruced up in my finery, shoes were heels, bag was tiny and dress was sparkly. I googlemapped and navigated that little arrow as I wandered up and down roads and across parks for 45 minutes when finally the arrow settled and I was in front of big revolving doors, a footman, a big sweeping staircase and welcoming bright lights.
My coat was concierged. Time to grab a champers. Except there wasn't any. In fact on close inspection of various rooms there was no dinner!
I asked reception waving my invite vigoursly as I spoke. 'You've got the wrong hotel.' Was the response. How many Grosvenor hotels are there in London? Well 2 it turns out.
At this point I debated giving up but I was persuaded that the other Grosvenor was a ten minute taxi ride. I had 25 minutes to get there and seated.
I did. And it's aswell as I was on the main table! Me! Your little Anna.
I conversed confidently with a marathon running dancing celebrity TV MP on my achievements jogging. He asked how far I'd got. 5 I said proudly. '5 miles', he asked. 'No, 5 minutes ' I replied. Luckily that was the end of that conversation as he rose to give the after dinner speech.
As for the wrong hotel in Geneva. Here's how that goes. My colleague and I boarded the plane.
We conversed on whether we'd be in a cupboard again a la Oslo, we had a g&t at the thought of it.
We looked at the Alps flypast.
We landed and found the free shuttle to our hotel. Not bad. We wheeled suitcases to reception. We were told 'You've got the wrong hotel.' 'You're in the budget hotel down the road.' Colleague and I looked at each other. That look said ' of course, we would be wouldn't we.'
As it happens this budget hotel was comfortable, clean, modern. Once again hangers on a wall for a wardrobe, big shower room but this time room enough to swing a poncho. My bedroom was a double and my bed had a ladder! Yes there was another bed above. Choices choices. Where to sleep?
My colleagues and I wandered the streets of Geneva
and found a traditional French bistro. We ordered
and tucked into that superficial amicable business social conversation along with our food. You know the safe sort. Except I opened my mouth. Addressing my colleague from San Francisco I asked 'are you into Stranger Things' . Well he answered that no he hadn't seen it. Colleagues around the table were bemused. The lady opposite me almost choked as she couldn't believe a) that I'd asked him if he was into strange things and b) that he didn't look shocked. She told me later that she'd wondered if id had too much to drink.
The conference went well. My 3 fellow speakers and I decided to celebrate with a beer at Geneva airport. A half pint beer without bubbles in I asked them to get me. Simple you'd think. No. 'Without bubbles' the fellas chorused. 'You want us to ask for a beer without bubbles' 'What do you mean beer without bubbles.'
I found a table hoping those questions would go away. They returned with my half of beer. ' 'We got bubbles. It was hard enough making the bar staff understand half pint let alone no bubbles. ' they said.
We I then decided we had to have a momento selfie. Have you tried getting 4 into a selfie around a wide table perched on bar stools? It doesn't work, as you can see. It causes faces to be scribbled out! Yes, I am in hysterics as you can see from my crinkled eyes.
And the YouTube video which shows flying throught the Alps and a bit of Geneva night life.