Non Existent Coffee Icecream

Dear Reader, I had culinary intents for last weekend, to the  fear of Mr Him. Still I was not going to be swayed just because Mr Him suffers indigestion. My intentions involved the sun being out, my kitchen being lit by golden rays of that special sunshine in adverts, the climatic ambiance being warm and me being relaxed.  With the warmth and relaxation I would take on the air of Nigella herself. I would combine and stir ingredients, ingredients conveniently measured and held in readiness in little glass bowls, and the outcome would be a gastronomic wonder that the family would drool over.  Mr Him also had intentions.  His were that I would not cook. To this end he cancelled plans to go out for the day to ensure the culinary hurricane Anna did not strike. 
Indigestion is not his only complaint when I cook.  Mr Him's largest and most vocal complaint, and that's saying something when indigestion is its competition, is the splattering of gastronomic ingredients around the kitchen walls and counters. However this time I was to merely pour ingredients into my Kitchenaid and have it to do the work. 
I knew that Mr Him could not loiter in the kitchen all day.  He had torso showing and scythe hunting to do after all at some point.  I waited until he sloped off to the garden to play with  his new Heucheras.   I quickly set about pouring very calorific bovine products into the mixing bowl (500ml double cream and a can of condensed milk sweetened),  I added Tia Maria, I then added more Tia Maria, then for the coffee. Into the mixer 3 tablespoons of espresso powder and finally the Tia Maria. 

My kitchenaid was set to mix, fast and a mocha cream emerged before my eyes.   Did I forget the Tia Maria?

All I needed to do was add Tia Maria, spoon into containers and hide them in the freezer. 

Then get rid of the evidence. It was lunch time.  Ideal. 

My secret stash of homemade coffee Tia Maria icecream is ready for summer. Of course I can't share it with Mr Him as it doesn't exist.  What's more  I could honestly say I didn't cook.  The oven and stove were not utilised once. I am guilt free.

PS Mr Him doesn't touch coffee.  He will not be deprived. 


  1. Lemon sorbet for me; shop bought I'm afraid.

  2. That sounds good and I don't even like ice cream.... (but I do like tia Maria)

  3. It looks yummy for something that doesn't exist.

  4. It sounds delicious, too bad it doesn't exist!


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