The House that Would Not Blow Down
Dear reader, you may be wondering what Mr Him has been up to recently. Have things been quiet on the Mr Him front or so diabolically bad I can't even write about it? Up to recently the former. However I've now concluded that he's the sort of neighbour you want living 3 hours drive away. Maybe you had already guessed that from previous posts. I was in denial I think.
My discovery materialised this week. I know, I know, how could I have not known for that long!
Let's start at the beginning. Once upon a planning permission long months ago a house was built next to us. Right next to us. So next to us we could see through the lounge onto the patio from our bedroom window. It was made of brick. However much Mr Him huffed it would not blow down.
I had blinds put up in our dining room. Mr Him huffed and puffed more when I instructed him that the dining room needed painting to be in keeping with the blinds. Even this furious puffing did not blow the house down.
I bought 15 foot high bamboo as a screen to our patio and dining room. Mr Him huffed as he planted it in pots. The house did not blow down.
I ordered a mature 15ft high budleja. It arrived and was 12 inches. Mr 26 and friend huffed and puffed as they maneuvered 12 inch high budleija. The house did not blow down.
I ordered a 10ft high palm tree. Mr Him puffed in great gusts as he planted this with Mr 26 help. The house did not blow down.
I ordered a 10ft high photenia. Mr Him huffed and puffed and refused to plant it. The house did not blow down.
Two weeks ago a couple moved in to the house. Mr Him invited them over for pizza takeaway. We planned and prepped like we had never done before. (We bought food rather than make it.) I was the hostess of the mostess this time. In preparedness I even tried out a new lipstain that had me looking like a cross between Morticia and Betty Boop. Luckily I managed to remove it before they thought they were walking into Addams Family Mansion. I stopped Mr Him putting the Time Warp on as welcoming background music.
We had a good night. They are a great couple. They loved our dogs and said 'you must bring them over sometime. ' Now you and I know that when people say that they don't mean it.
Not two days had passed before Mr Him was knocking on their door with said dogs to visit newly built, newly carpeted, newly decorated house that would not blow down. He tells me they gushed and aaarhd. He tells me they were pleased, especially when Luna marched in through the house heading to kitchen to see a mother in law.
I say Mr Him's the sort of neighbour they'd want living in another darn town. They must be in fear of us not leaving them in peace.
Mr Him has a new hobby now. A blog reader said they imagine a Bridget Jones voice from me. Mr Him says 'more like her mum.' Still when I said that I even have my own Mr D'Arcy Mr Him started plans on building a lake in the garden, so he could emerge from it occasionally. I said 'don't bother, Mr 26 and I can plunge you in the bath now and then if you like.'
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