Dear reader, on Saturday my family vied for my attention. They each, well Miss 21 and Mr Him, planned outings for me. Miss 21 booked me onto her excursion for Saturday morning a few weeks ago. It was an efficient operation. Mr decided on his excursion for me the evening before.
On Saturday I was awoken, told to be ready for 8 am. Miss 21 went off to get petrol then in her words 'swing by to pick me up. ' I was told to look posh.
With my large pearl earrings in ( to look posh) and my breakfast in a tub (to eat) I dropped into her car. The weather was pleasant. I enjoyed being a passenger and we meandered along country lanes.
Where did she take me? The dentist!
An hour later found me in dentist chair being told I may need to have a tooth out! Oh, and braces. In the room was the dentist and me, and the nurse. Yes, Miss 21. Later, a while later, I hopped off the chair and went for therapy. Retail therapy. I bought minced venison and 3 pairs of shoes.
The latter were in a sale in Marks for £9 a pair reduced from £65! I just had to at that price and they are all gorgeous. I also bought local tomatoes.
Following the therapy I needed lunch and as I wasn't driving I offered myself a glass of wine. It would have been rude to refuse. I seemed to find myself in a knitting circle pub.
As I drank I got the idea that I would take up knitting if it involved pub going.
The more I drank the more convinced I was that an argyle would be coming Mr Him's way at Christmas. After a second glass of wine I decided I could get used to this and easily build a routine around coming to the dentist on a Saturday morning. I immediately paid and made my way to miss 21s practice to book myself more appointments.
The orthodontist was seeing a customer out. He told her that if she had any discomfort she should have a glass of wine. I immediately said, helpfully, ' I've had two and I'm the nurses mum.' I hoped that reassured the customer.
I was given an appointment for December. 'Haven't you got anything sooner' I asked, eagerly. 'I can take a day off work.'
Well, almost immediately Miss 21 bundled me in her car and we made our way home by magic bean.
Could Mr Him better that?
For my evening excursion he told me to wrap up in waterproofing. He put us on a train. He spared no expense to take me out for a drink. He bought me two cans of gin and slimline tonic from Tesco Express. He walked me along the seafront at Hastings in the pouring rain to see a laser show that never was.
It was to commemorate the Norman invasion of 950 years ago, or the beginning of Brexit. We saw a few strands of lasers beaming across to France and once I was completely soaked he put us back on a train and let me have one of the g&ts.
I love my family.