Unexpected Discovery of Cellular Zombieland
There was a day this week, dear reader, that I almost crossed the event horizon of Googlemaps. How did I find such a place hidden so deeply by mobile maps? There is a story to tell, a circutous story of walking and roundabouts.
I was forced on my adventure by the multidimensional and confusing layout of Waterloo station. My destination was the Union Jack Club, near Waterloo, as per the invitation. As one would expect and being astute I used The exit to depart Waterloo Station.
I confidently strode forth until I reached a roundabout. This was no ordinary roundabout for it contained Mighty IMAX and the power of 3d at its core! I turned left escaping the powerful '3d' temptation to march purposefully out onto Waterloo Bridge. It was a blustery day and I had my conference glad rags on. The bluster was cold, my conference glad rags were thin. They consisted of a so last year block colour dress in black and coffee icecream (I should know.) I felt colder with each step out over the Thames. The northerly wind blew up my coat, down my coat and through my coat. If I didn’t have a bob my hair would have been all asunder.
Then, half way across the Thames, the wind blew a gust of common sense into me. This was not correct. If I was meant to go across the river the invitation would not have said near Waterloo. I turned on that baffling gadget, ‘maps’ on my phone. There I was, represented by a blue blob, standing astride the Thames. A red blob, the Club, was way behind me.
I reversed back over the Thames and was pulled down a slope into the belly of the IMAX roundabout. Here I found the poor lost Googlemaps souls. They looked vacant, heads slumped over their mobiles and cells, they turned this way and that as they shuffled from one exit to another. I was in cellular zombieland. I plumped for an exit desperate to escape and ran. My blue blob moved fast. It raced closer to the red blob doing the Googlewaltz on my phone.
Five minutes later and quite puffed out I was facing the Union Jack Club and there opposite it was the entrance to Waterloo Station.
This is the route I took
This is the route I should have taken. As you can see I am a navigating genius.
To prove I did arrive, here is a picture from inside the Union Jack Club. The plaques are memorials to members of the forces over the last 100 years.
Google plaques may be available in the next 100 years around the IMAX
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