No Phone

I repeat no phone! Here I am on strikeday travelling rural by diesel to work accompanied by Needlework Natalie but not my phone.  Not that I use my phone for phoning. No, I use my phone for blogging, tweeting, emailing, IG-ing, Googling, looking up times of trains (non-existent or otherwise).  Don’t worry, I have a scrap of paper in my bag.  I have found a pen.  I can blog.  I have my Kindly, oh, no, flat battery.  Note to self, on scrap of paper, charge Kindle when I get to the office. Its not as if my charger is going to be used for anything else today is it!

I know where my phone is. Propped up in the kitchen where I was taking a selfie for my Style Blog.  Darn blogs!  Miss 21 texts me to let me know of her arrival at work. I will email her from my laptop in the office and hope she gets that on her phone.

Jealous.  I am jealous as I watch Needlework Natalie browse, surf, tap and look up our connecting train times.  I must sit on my hands for fear of snatching her Nokia out of her clutches. 

Lovely views, concentrate on the lovely views, and not a Mr Him in site.  Trees travel past in a green blur. Yes, still green. Concentrate. Ignore the lack-of-phone hyperventilation.  Breathe deeply.  Distraction.  Oh, I went to Pilates last night.  That was fun.  I used to be advanced but that was 15 years ago.  Still its like riding a bicycle. You don’t forget.  Shame my body forgot.  Flexibility is missing and stuckness has arrived.

No-one’s talking on the train today.  They are all peering at their phones.  Aagh!  My trains trundling to Dorking now. Distraction. The Girl on the Train, looking into gardens. 

Needlework Natalie is my search engine.  I’m calling her Nat Nav.  It has a ring to it, well tap to it.   ‘What platform do we need?’ I ask  my Nat Nav.  I like this voice control search engine.  ‘Platform 2,’ Nat Nav responds.

Sheep, breathe, look at the sheep, cows, ponies, horses.

Nearly there.  Nearly able to open email, nearly able to use landline.  Nearly connected.


  1. That made me smile. I actually do not have a mobile phone, I find life easier without one.

  2. Oh dear, how you have suffered! Love your talking Nat Nav.
    My phone and I get together maybe once or twice a week. Most times when that happens it's taken me ages to find it and invariably its battery is flat. Nobody phones me, for those reasons I tell myself and not because I am Norma no-mates.

  3. No phone for me, people watch, a book or my kobo e-reader. Sometime even talk to people as well.

  4. My phone spends most of its days neglected. I can feel your pain though.

  5. It always makes me speechless just how dependent people are on their phones. I use mine for emergencies and hat is all. I prefer to be the girl on the train who actually looks at pretty (and not so pretty) gardens and houses, takes in passing scenery, the weather, the beauty of the world and doesn't bump into people in the street!

  6. Hahaha, what a fantastic story! You told it so well! Did you kiss your Phone when you got home? Hope not!

  7. Oh, the life of an addict. You got the shakes, man, got 'em bad.

  8. No phone here... I'm a people watcher... a lot of the time I'm watching folks talk (or text) on their phone... LOTS of people!

  9. Grim, isn't it. I'm lost without mine now.


The One in Which Mr Him Dances

.. .and he wondered why his hips hurt the next morning!